My Academy Awards thoughts

Watched a good portion of the Academy Awards tonight. Glad to see Martin Scorcese won for "The Departed." He was starting to get to be Peyton Manning with that whole "Best Director" thing.

Anyway, here are my thoughts lifted from Instant Messenger along with things I added in retrospect.

- I just wish they could condense the Academy Awards. There is too much pomp and circumstance and I wish it could just be 2 hours without commercials. As it is the Academy Awards now consists of two hours of shots of Jack Nicholson in the crowd and then two hours of everything else.

- I do enjoy the dead people tribute part of Oscar night. C'mon, who didn't shed a tear when they saw Don Knotts? Mr. Furley?

- Sometimes I am surprised at the people who died, like Maureen Stapleton. That one was a surprise. I guess I missed that one. Also I thought Jack Palance had already died. Maybe that was his character in City Slickers 2 I am thinking of.

- I think Eddie Murphy did not win for best supporting actor because of Norbit. That's karma paying him back for that shitty movie.

- Most documentaries win for sad topics. Maybe they should just call it the "sad film" award.

- Oh look. Jerry Seinfeld is presenting an award. Why didn't they get Kramer to present an award? He's so good on stage! Especially with his ethnic jokes!

- George Lucas is at the Academy Awards tonight. I think he is still hoping for a best actor nomination for Jar Jar Binks. "Mesa would like to thanka the Acadamie."

- I had no doubt Al Gore would win for "An Inconvenient Truth." And if he didn't win, he would appeal to the Supreme Court.

- Do you think Al Gore would trade his Oscar for the Presidency? I say no. He would trade his soul.

- Ennio Morricone wins a lifetime achievement award for his musical work on numerous films like Bugsy, The Untouchables and Police Academy 4. Ok, I made that one up. But he did score Red Sonja.

- They had Wolverine (Hugh Jackman) present an award, followed by Spider-Man (Tobey McGuire). They were in their secret identities.

- I guess that "Little Miss Sunshine" will win for Best Original Screenplay. I am right.

- Queen Latifah and John Travolta present an award together. Should these two be presenting for any awards? They have made so many crappy decisions filmwise they shouldn't even be on stage! "Last Holiday"? "Battlefield Earth"?

- Melissa Etheridge wins for best song for "An Inconvenient Truth"! She thanks her far hotter wife who we see in the audience. I take is this means Melissa is the 'husband.'

- Forrest Whitaker wins for playing Idi Amin. The Academy loves it when people play historic characters; it increases your chances of winning. Never mind that nobody actually knows what Idi Amin actually was like. At least when Jamie Foxx won for his portrayal of Ray Charles, we knew what Ray Charles was like. He walked around with sunglasses and a big smile on his face and shook his head side to side.

- Helen Mirren won for The Queen. She also played a real life person who is actually still living - Queen Latifah.

- Martin Scorcese wins "Best Director" for "The Departed." I haven't seen it, nor seen a lot of his films but I imagine that he won because A) "The Departed" was the best film in a weak crop of best pictures and B) This was finally his time. I'm sure "Raging Bull" and "Goodfellas" are better and the Academy was recognizing him for those works as well.

- I appreciate that when they presented Best Director, Francis Ford Coppola, Stephen Spielberg and George Lucas presented the award and Coppola and Spielberg teased Lucas about not winning an Academy Award. I'm sure that will upset Lucas when he goes home tonight to sleep on his billions of dollars and tomorrow when he swims through his Money Bin.

- The Best Picture is announced and it's... The Departed! Like I say, in a year filled with films that didn't seem to be really full of "Ooomph" "The Departed" seemed more likely to win. However, I still think it was a disservice that "Beerfest" was not nominated for "Best Picture." I cannot think of a movie from 2006 that I enjoyed more.

Well, anyway, that was the Academy Awards. My early prediction for next year? "Norbit" sweeps all the major categories. You read it here first.